AlcoHAWK Breathalyzer
Everyone thinks he knows some formula that exactly calculates his level of inebriation, usually involving multiplication of the size of the hoagies he ate and the number of Kamikazes he drank divided by the hours he was in direct sunlight. But carry over one wrong remainder, and you’re in the clink faster than you can say the alphabet backward. Thanks to this little gizmo, the guesswork is not longer necessary. In just a few months, the Alcohawk has already been successfully and appropriately used by me and my friends at least a dozen times. Except that one time, at a house party, when we used it to see who could “win.” To be honest, it was more fun than Hungry Gungry Hippos.
View a PDF of the article: Indy Men’s Magazine – AlcoHAWK Breathalyzer – November, 2005
